The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes

“No Matter What You Say; I’m Still The King,. The Storm Is Coming, The Storming Is Coming In”

Wow…it’s certainly has been awhile since I’ve posted here regularly. As I’m sure you’ve already noticed, I’ve made a few changes to the blog. The most noticeable of them being the new layout and color scheme. As much as I loved the dark and brooding black/orange halloween colors of the previous template, I decided to go with something a bit sleeker and more professional looking.

Anyways, for those new readers finding their way to my blog for the first time I’ve decided to use this (re)introductory post to highlight some of the most popular blog entries I’ve written. For my always loyal readers who have been following me throughout the years, consider this a stroll down memory lane. A Cognitive Dissonance “Hall of Fame” if you will. I’m leaving out the political stuff because I doubt anyone wants to read that. Here you go:

My Conversations Are Way Funnier Than Yours

Transitive Property Is A Bitch

Fire Ants and Unprotected Sex

Race Relations and Turkey Basters 

The Stripper on My Couch

Lewd Pictures and The Sheer Awesomeness of The Random

Sometimes I Say Inappropriate Things

Sometimes I Say Inappropriate Things Part II

Sex, Drugs, and… Crudeness

Your Mother Hates You -The Twitter Version

How To Be an Asshole Like Me

Apparently I’m Kind of An Asshole

Remember That Time I Almost Got Kicked Out of A Focus Group?

Or The Time I Almost Got Banned From My Logic Class And Didn’t Graduate from College

My DIY Guide To Picking Up Girls Online

25 Interesting And Funny But True Facts About Me

Apparently I was an Asshole Even In 6th Grade

A Random Collection of Funny Internet Shit

WoW WhAt a L0s3r … The World of Warcraft freakout (Video)

The Micro Economics of The Pimp Hand

Woman Starts Fight Over Chicken McNuggets (Video)

The Creepiest Sex Ad Ever?

Those Racist HP Webcams (Video)

What Your Boss Is Saying About You

Girls Are Immature! (Video)

Michael Bay Eating A Bowl of Cereal (Video)

The Star Wars Lego Parody (Eddie Izzard Comedy) (Video)

REJECTED CARTOONS! (A Classic) (Video)

New RoboCop Trailer….Did We Really Need A Remake?

Is it me or does the idea of doing a RoboCop remake remind you of the time the WWF tried to bring in a “new” “Razor Ramon”? Anyways, in case you haven’t seen it, here’s the trailer for the new RoboCop movie:

Ehhh….this trailer doesn’t leave me feeling very optimistic about the remake to the 1987 action classic. The original RoboCop was a masterpiece. The perfect combination of originality, satire, and political commentary wrapped up in 102 minutes of pulse pounding badassery. Originally written as a critique of the corporatist culture of the Reagan era, the original RoboCop’s message has a timeless appeal. The trailer for this remake demonstrate none of that, looking to instead replace the well crafted commentary with explosions and Samuel Jackson. Don’t get me wrong, I love explosions and Sam Jackson, but the hacks in Hollywood didn’t need to use the RoboCop franchise to make that kind of movie. Hopefully this isn’t just another one of Hollywood’s attempts to cash in on another one of my beloved  childhood franchises, but at this point i’m skeptical.