In other shocking news. A pro Huckabee 527 group is running a push poll in South Carolina that claims that John McCain supports “Experiments on Unborn Children”. Yes you read that right. Supports “Experiments on Unborn Children”. You can’t make this shit up.
What is it with people push polling John McCain in South Carolina
1. If your wife owns you in a snowball fight you are automatically disqualified from being president. Period. I’m sorry, call me sexist but there are some things that a guy should never lose to a girl in. Snowball fights are one of them. This is ESPECIALLY true when you get punked so bad that you have to quit because “your hands are too cold to pick up snow.” Seriously bro? What would the Russians think if they met the next President of the United States and it was a guy who lost a snowball fight to his wife. It’d be World War III I tell ya. Hell on Earth. If you care about your kids then don’t vote Mike Huckabee to become the next president of the United States.
2. Election’s are too long. Not because they take up too much time in the Calendar year, but because they’re not fights to the death. Thus I propose that we skip elections all together and have gladiator style fights to the death. And no not like that lame ass “new” American Gladiators BS. I’m talking Roman Collesium mets Japanese barbwire death matches. Three reasons why we should let fights to death determine our president:
1) Because i know im not the only one who’s thought “I’m not voting for him That other dude could totally kick
2) You don’t like negative ads. Me either! If candidates fought to the death it would be the end of all negative
campaigning ! That;s 100% solvency.
3) It would probably produce better results than caucuses or Republican voting.
3. John Mcain looks like a robot, John McCain talks like a robot and John McCain moves like a robot. (An almost dead robot says Megan)
4. Ron Paul looks like my crazy old grandpa. And like any crazy old grandpa, his opinions should be ignored for anything that’s not Bingo, Oatmeal, or Matlock related.
5. Mitt Romney looks like a plastic Ken doll. His political stances are just as fake as a plastic Ken doll. What pro lifer “accidentally” sends a check to Planned Parenthood? Anyone who really believes that Mitt Romney is a conservative is :
Every so often I think “You know…this Mike Huckabee guy isn’t so bad. He actually ‘gets’ it” . But then he goes and says something like this:
At a Michigan campaign event last night, Mike Huckabee says we have to amend the Constitution to ban both abortion and gay marriage. Otherwise, the Constitution would be in conflict with God.
…and I remember that he’s just a far right Christian Conservative from the same politicial vein that brought us laws that tell you what two consenting adults can or can not do in the privacy of their homes, that prefers mysticism and magic over science and facts, and worst of all doesnt believe in evolution. By the way, I’m sorry but if you don’t believe in something as simple as evolution, that’s an automatic disqualifier as far as me voting for you. If you’re not down with the monkey then you’re not down with me.
But anyways…for all those people who are thinking “Oh I’m a democrat but I don’t like Barack or Hillary; but this Huckabee fella seems like a nice guy…” remember that outside of Giuliani, Mike Huckabee is probably the closest out of any Republican running for President to George W. Bush. Do you really want this guy picking supreme court nominee’s?
PS. I’ve determine that the only good thing about a Mike Huckabee presidency would be my ability to consistently use Huck as a substitute for Huck. Tempting…but the guys does believe in the Fair Tax. I mean really…the fair tax? Come on….
Matt Yglesias goes negative on Mike Huckabee hardcore:
On a Christmas Eve CNBC broadcast that I’m sure nobody watched, John Fund and I wound up agreeing that there was something remarkably vacuous to Mike Huckabee’s economic populism. It doesn’t even rise to the level of a lie the way George W. Bush’s “different kind of Republican” schtick did in 2000 — there’s just nothing there
A lot of democrats are worried what the general election might look like if Mike Huckabee becomes the GOP nominee. Apparently they’re not the only ones. Rich Lowry of the National Review claims that nominating Huckabee would be a horrible choice for the Republican Party:
Huckabee has declared that he doesn’t believe in evolution. Even if there are many people in America who agree with him, his position would play into the image of Republicans as the anti-science party. This would tend to push away independents and upper-income Republicans. In short, Huckabee would take a strength of the GOP and, through overplaying it, make it a weakness.
He’d do the same on taxes. In general, the public tends to support Democratic proposals for bigger government, which Republicans counter by saying that the proposals will require higher taxes. Huckabee will be equipped poorly to make this traditional Republican comeback, given his tax-raising history in Arkansas. Huckabee tries to compensate with a sales-tax scheme that allows him to say he supports eliminating the IRS, but is so wildly implausible that it would be a liability in a general election.
Then, there’s national security, the Republican trump card during the Cold War and after 9/11. Huckabee not only has zero national-security credentials, he basically has no foreign-policy advisers either… A foreign-policy debate with a Democratic nominee would be a competition over who can promise to be nicer to foreign countries.
Republicans have won the votes of downscale evangelicals for years by arguing that Democrats condescend to them and sneer at them behind their backs. Well, how do you think they’re going to respond if East-coast conservative elites start doing the same thing–but in full public view? My guess is not well. Conservative evangelicals still complain about a 1993 Washington Post article that describes them as “largely poor, uneducated, and easy to command.”* That’s going to look like a compliment by the time the conservative opinion apparatus gets done with Mike Huckabee.