Bet none of you have ever told a girl that certain types of insects are hotter than she is and got away with it. Coming from most people thats an insult. Coming from me that’s just charm.
Laura: WHAT? You don’t like stepping on bugs and yet you stepped on an entire ant hill to flirt with me?Wtf?
Phil: No I stepped on the hill because you didn’t want me to.
Laura: So how does that make you feel? That you sacrificed the lives of ants to get a girl to like you?
Phil: How does it make you feel that it worked?
Laura: Very sad. Oh the lives that were lost. All bc i encouraged it! But also pretty hot at the same time. lol
Phil: Don’t worry, well make it up to them
Laura: Oh damn. I might’ve just gasped. Good thing i’m alone in my bed so no one heard me. I think it’ll make the ants feel better. From their hill in the after life.
Phil: And to be fair…I think we have to let them watch
Laura: Hmmmm… I guess it would only be fair. I can make that sacrifice in self esteem for the ants. After all, they are ants. They cant be hotter than i am, right?
Phil Well they were fire ants…
Laura: Oh, really? Fire ants are hotter than i am?
Phil: Are fire ants hotter than you? Hmmm they bite more. And they like to crawl all over me. They might have the edge right now.
Laura: Oh, but you dont know how much i bite. Nor have i had the chance to be all over you. So i’m telling you, they do not have the edge.
Laura: Sigh. How do you know i’m just a talker? You’re right about their work ethic though. But mine’s pretty good too.
Phil: Wait…did you just conceede ground in the “fire ants are hotter” than you discussion?
Punningpundit: My dad wants g’babies. My sister jessica stopped the conversation cold with “next time I have unprotected sex, I won’t use plan B”.
World_Dictator: is your sister Jessica seeing anybody?
Punningpundit: she says she’s down– assuming you’re willing to impregnate her.
World_Dictator: Well I am black so its not like I have a choice.
Katy: “So apparently it picks random pictures of me with stuff in my face. ”
Phil: Good thing you don’t have any pictures from the NPDA after party then…
Katy: If you were here, I’d hit you for that remark. Since you aren’t, I’ll play along and say: Phil, you know facebook prohibits those kinds of photos. Ha, ha.
Phil: If I were there and you hit me I’d say “ohhh kinky.” But since you aren’t I’ll play along and say: Katy, facebook might prohibit those photo’s but my personal collection does not.
Chad: the best stuff was when he was in love with a girl you’ve already banged
Chad that gave an extra tense awesomeness to it
Chad: touchy subject?
Phil: hell no
Phil: remember, i was the one that exposed that to most of the facebook world
Chad: about to say – i didn’t think you had feelings
Phil: i dont have feelings…where my feelings are supposed to be is just extra awesome
Chad: i read some of your blog today – most of it reviled me…but i kept on reading. the sign of a great author
Phil: i go for that disturbing yet addicting aspect
Phil: *grabs boob*
Phil: THEY WERE ON FIRE
Phil: IS A THANK YOU TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?
Steph: shut up
Phil: last time i stop you from errupting in a glorious blaze
Phil: so how was your day?
And for Matt and Foy
Kryztal: its apple
Phil: you have a macbook
Phil: i find you infinitely more attractive
Posted in funny, humor, Humor, funny
- Tagged AIM Conservations, conversations, facebook, frat, funny, humor, IM, Instant Messenger