Change The Way You Eat Food

Typically I don’t like reposting things floating around on Facebook, but this one is both interesting and helpful.

27 Food hacks that will change the way you eat

(no facebook access required)

Enjoy!

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A Pizza Vending Machine…Surely You Jest!

According to the New York Times, an Italian inventor has created a …get this…Pizza Vending Machine, which not only make a pizza for you from scratch, but will also cook it fresh in three minutes or less.

Over the last decade, Mr. Torghele, 56, an entrepreneur in this northern Italian city who first made money selling pasta in California, has developed a vending machine that cooks pizza. The machine does not just slip a frozen pizza into a microwave. It actually whips up flour, water, tomato sauce and fresh ingredients to produce a piping hot pizza in about three minutes. (And for ONLY $ 4.50)

Holy shit, where have you been all of my life? Oh Pizza Machine of the gods? Oh seducer of my taste buds. Lover of my stomach. But alas, *sigh* the machine isn’t available anywhere in the United States.

Racism

pure Racism

Remember That Time I Almost Got Kicked Out of a Focus Group

Moderator: Phillip, I’d like to hear what you thought of the energy drink.

Me: Honestly?

Mod: I want you to be completely honest about your thoughts.

Me: Your product tastes like sadness and ass.
By the way, ROCKT FUEL is a stupid fucking….wait, can I say fuck? Well anyways, ROCKT FUEL is a stupid fucking name for a product. What, you think you’re hardcore because you don’t use the letter ” E”? Maybe you should use that as a slogan. “So hardcore it doesn’t use the most common letter in the English language…TO THE EXTREME!!!!”

You know what the name ROCKT FUEL makes me think of? The douchebag everyone knows who types everything in all caps lock.

Is that really what you want me to think of when I see your product? Dirty vagina? Sadness and ass is bad but I’d have to imagine that douche flavored dirty vagina water tastes much worse. But that’s just me, I hate seafood.

McDonalds = Lawyered

In case you didn’t know, Anthony Bourdain is
is awesome

Known for consuming exotic and daring ethnic dishes, Bourdain is famous for eating sheep testicles in Morocco, ant eggs in Puebla, Mexico, a raw seal eyeball as part of a traditional Inuit seal hunt, and a whole cobra- beating heart, blood, bile, and meat- in Vietnam. But according to Bourdain, the most disgusting thing he has ever eaten is a Chicken McNugget.

To be fair, Bourdain said the “unwashed warthog anus” and the “fermented shark” were close seconds.

If you’re not watching it already you should check out his show
No Reservations on the Travel Channel.

Who the fuck is allergic to bananas?!?!

So my coworker just told me she was allergic to bananas. BANANAS! Who the fuck is allergic to bananas?!?!

Saying you’re allergic to bananas is like saying you’re allergic to soft pillows. Bananas are like the wuss asses of the fruit hierarchy. They get punked around by apples but they’re not quite the bitches kumquats are. (Who the fuck eats kumquats anyways…)

Now if it was oranges she was allergic to I could understand. Oranges will fuck you up. Have you ever gotten citric acid in your eye? Probably not because you’d be dead if you had. Or at the very least marginally uncomfortable. But a banana is no Orange neither here nor in a court of law!

PS. fuck shoes…yeah you know what I’m talking about 😉

WordPress is spreading…

First Natalie

Then Mark

Now Megan

If you want to see pretty pictures of Europe and hear about her adventures I’d recommend checking Megan’s blog out. It’s actually pretty interesting. Here’s an excerpt of her latest entry:

I think the best thing about the trip, though, was the food. Umberto, Nike’s Mom’s boyfriend is totally Italian, and insisted on having us eat all the damn time…which was totally fantastic- homemade lasagna, wild boar salami, panna cotta, risotto, etc. He even served us this homemade lemon liquor that he’d been working on for a few weeks. We also went to this restaurant in Umberto’s Family’s village and had a meal totally out of mushrooms. We had fried mushrooms, mushroom bruschetta, mushrooms on fried polenta, a mushroom pancake, mushroom pasta, and they even made mushroom gelato.

That’s it. I’m convinced. I need to marry an Italian girl.