The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes

“No Matter What You Say; I’m Still The King,. The Storm Is Coming, The Storming Is Coming In”

Wow…it’s certainly has been awhile since I’ve posted here regularly. As I’m sure you’ve already noticed, I’ve made a few changes to the blog. The most noticeable of them being the new layout and color scheme. As much as I loved the dark and brooding black/orange halloween colors of the previous template, I decided to go with something a bit sleeker and more professional looking.

Anyways, for those new readers finding their way to my blog for the first time I’ve decided to use this (re)introductory post to highlight some of the most popular blog entries I’ve written. For my always loyal readers who have been following me throughout the years, consider this a stroll down memory lane. A Cognitive Dissonance “Hall of Fame” if you will. I’m leaving out the political stuff because I doubt anyone wants to read that. Here you go:

My Conversations Are Way Funnier Than Yours

Transitive Property Is A Bitch

Fire Ants and Unprotected Sex

Race Relations and Turkey Basters 

The Stripper on My Couch

Lewd Pictures and The Sheer Awesomeness of The Random

Sometimes I Say Inappropriate Things

Sometimes I Say Inappropriate Things Part II

Sex, Drugs, and… Crudeness

Your Mother Hates You -The Twitter Version

How To Be an Asshole Like Me

Apparently I’m Kind of An Asshole

Remember That Time I Almost Got Kicked Out of A Focus Group?

Or The Time I Almost Got Banned From My Logic Class And Didn’t Graduate from College

My DIY Guide To Picking Up Girls Online

25 Interesting And Funny But True Facts About Me

Apparently I was an Asshole Even In 6th Grade

A Random Collection of Funny Internet Shit

WoW WhAt a L0s3r … The World of Warcraft freakout (Video)

The Micro Economics of The Pimp Hand

Woman Starts Fight Over Chicken McNuggets (Video)

The Creepiest Sex Ad Ever?

Those Racist HP Webcams (Video)

What Your Boss Is Saying About You

Girls Are Immature! (Video)

Michael Bay Eating A Bowl of Cereal (Video)

The Star Wars Lego Parody (Eddie Izzard Comedy) (Video)

REJECTED CARTOONS! (A Classic) (Video)

The “Must See” Bruno Interview

I’m not generally a huge fan of Sacha Baron Cohen’s impressionist comedy. I didn’t get into “Da Ali G Show” and the trailers for Borat didn’t even muster a slight chuckle out of me. So when I first heard Cohen was making a movie about a gay Austrian, I thought “Oh lord, here comes Borat 2”.

But for whatever reason Bruno strikes me as a hell of a lot funnier than either Ali G or Borat. After watching these clips  from a Bruno interview on famous Australian TV show Rove, I think Cohen has finally convinced me to shell out $9 bucks to see him play gay for 2 hours.

If you’re into Cohen’s work, or even remotely interested in seeing Bruno you’ve got to check out the youtube of his interview below the fold…

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Extended 4 Min Trailer From Terminator: Salvation Just Released

Warner Brothers just released a 4 minute extended trailer from the new terminator: Terminator: Salvation

A couple of thoughts:

1. I’m infinitely skeptical of any movie that gets a 4 minute trailer. In my experience, most of the big budget Hollywood movies that get released these days don’t even have 4 minutes of a quality movie. And we all know that one of the worse movie experiences is when you’re sitting in the theater and you realize that all the good parts of the movie were in the trailer.

2. I’m even more skeptical of a badass action movie that has a PG=13 rating ESPECIALLY a Terminator movie. Sure, movies have pulled it off before, The Dark Knight comes to mind, but I can ‘t recall a movie who’s main selling point was a heavy dosage of violence, explosions, and post apocalyptic war who has pulled it off. I might be willing to overlook this if not for the seal clubbing that was Terminator 3. A “movie” that had absolutely nothing good about it. Not to mention that James Cameron is being replaced by McG. Yes, the same McG that directed Charlie’s Angels. Ugh

Five of The Best 2008 Movies You Didn’t See

2008 was a great year for movies. But you wouldn’t know that if you, like most people, judge the quality of a movie based on the standards of the Oscar committee which is good but susceptible to epic mistakes. (No Grand Torino nod for best movie. WTF?)

That’s where I come in. Unlike the politically driven Academy, I uses my eyes and ears to judge the quality of a movie. But more important than that, my spectrum of quality movies far exceeds the limited vision of Hollywood. So get your Netflix queues ready, because I’ve got 5 movies I’ve seen, and you need to see.

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