Gotta support awesome wordpress blogs when I find them.
“This Buddy of Mine” is a website where people submit humorous stories about “a buddy” in hopes of getting their story published and winning a cash reward. Sure the cash is nice, but the glory of having your story published on a wordpress blog is the end all be all.
Here’s my favorite so far:
This buddy of mine grew up in Indianapolis where you can find a White Castle on every corner. When he became an adult, his job required that he move to another part of the country. For him, the saddest part of leaving Indy was that there wasn’t a White Castle within 150 miles.
Another requirement of his job was that he make business trips on a monthly basis. He looked forward to these trips because they put him within driving distance of those glorious sliders. And people, they’re called sliders for a reason. Those bitches slide right through any normal digestive track.
My buddy’s routine was to stop at the restaurant, order a case of burgers and immediately put it in the back of his car where he couldn’t reach it. When he got home, he’d heat up a couple and put the rest in the fridge where he could snack on them throughout the week.
Well, on the day in question, he made the mistake of putting the box of food on his front seat. The aroma finally got the better of him and he could stand it no longer. He dove into the box, eating no less than 10 of the little burgers. As he reached for one final sandwich, his stomach rumbled and he knew he was in deep shit… literally.
Not being within 30 miles of a bathroom, he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled over, raised his trunk lid, grabbed his emergency roll of toilet paper and headed for a wooded area just off the side of the road. He finished his business, walked back to his car and put the toilet paper back into the trunk. Just as he was shutting the lid, a state trooper pulled up behind him.
The trooper got out of his squad car and asked my buddy what he was doing. Not realizing that it was such a big deal, he explained his situation. He tried to be as humorous as possible but the trooper was in no mood for bullshit… or any sort of shit for that matter. He asked my buddy for his license, registration and proof of insurance and told him to sit inside the car while he went back to his squad car to validate the info and check him for warrants.
At this point, my buddy decides to call me because he thinks the entire situation is so comical. Again, he tells of the tragic events that have unfolded and tells me he’s waiting on the cop to come back with his paperwork. After about 2 minutes he says “Hang on. Here he comes.” He put the phone down on his lap and here’s the conversation I heard:
Cop: Sir, do you realize that defecating on the side of the road is illegal?
Buddy: No, sir. I had no idea.
Cop: Well, it IS a violation of law and therefore I’m issuing you a citation for illegal disposal of hazardous waste.
Buddy: Are you kidding me?!?
Cop: No, sir. I am not kidding. Do you have any idea what would happen if someone happened to trip and fall into the waste?
Buddy: Well sir…….. Then they’d be shitfaced.
Submitted by Text Imps