Funny AIM Conversations: Fire Ants And Unprotected Sex.

Bet none of you have ever told a girl that certain types of insects are hotter than she is and got away with it. Coming from most people thats an insult. Coming from me that’s just charm.

Laura: WHAT? You don’t like stepping on bugs and yet you stepped on an entire ant hill to flirt with me?Wtf?
Phil: No I stepped on the hill because you didn’t want me to.
Laura: So how does that make you feel? That you sacrificed the lives of ants to get a girl to like you?
Phil: How does it make you feel that it worked?
Laura: Very sad. Oh the lives that were lost. All bc i encouraged it! But also pretty hot at the same time. lol
Phil: Don’t worry, well make it up to them
Laura: Oh damn. I might’ve just gasped. Good thing i’m alone in my bed so no one heard me. I think it’ll make the ants feel better. From their hill in the after life.
Phil: And to be fair…I think we have to let them watch
Laura: Hmmmm… I guess it would only be fair. I can make that sacrifice in self esteem for the ants. After all, they are ants. They cant be hotter than i am, right?
Phil Well they were fire ants…
Laura: Oh, really? Fire ants are hotter than i am?
Phil: Are fire ants hotter than you? Hmmm they bite more. And they like to crawl all over me. They might have the edge right now.
Laura: Oh, but you dont know how much i bite. Nor have i had the chance to be all over you. So i’m telling you, they do not have the edge.
Laura: Sigh. How do you know i’m just a talker? You’re right about their work ethic though. But mine’s pretty good too.
Phil: Wait…did you just conceede ground in the “fire ants are hotter” than you discussion?

*****

Punningpundit: My dad wants g’babies. My sister jessica stopped the conversation cold with “next time I have unprotected sex, I won’t use plan B”.

World_Dictator: is your sister Jessica seeing anybody?

Punningpundit: she says she’s down– assuming you’re willing to impregnate her.

World_Dictator: Well I am black so its not like I have a choice.

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One thought on “Funny AIM Conversations: Fire Ants And Unprotected Sex.

  1. Pingback: The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes | Cognitive Dissonance

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