25 Random Awesome Phil Facts

Brought to you by your favorite Facebook Note:

1. I have a blog that I write on regularly. Why? Because I feel that my awesomeness should be shared with the world. No need to say thank you.


2. I’ve never been in love. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like. But realistically I have a hard time imagining myself being “in love”.

3. I once gave a persuasive speech about repealing the 19th amendment. It was well received by everyone in the class…except the women. They didn’t seem to find it very funny.

4. I’m a huge Cleveland Indians fan even though I’ve never been to Cleveland. I’m also a huge Raiders fan even though I’ve never been to Oakland.

5. I hate strip clubs but love strippers. Is it bad that I find them really interesting? Also,
before you jump to any conclusions I’ve never given money to a stripper in my life. Except when I bought my friend, a girl, a lap dance, of course. That doesn’t count though since I have a responsibility as a guy to promote girl on girl action any chance I can.

6. During the 2006 midterm election I worked for a Republican. Two of them. And they won.

7. I read about 22 different newspapers, magazines, and blogs every day. I used to read more but I’ve cut back.

8. I get bored really easily. Especially with people. I describe it as people ADD.On that point being bored is probably the worst feeling in the world aside from being poor.

9. I hate making small talk. I hate it … So So So…very much… I hate it so much that I try to avoid all situations that require it.

10. I kick ass at Wheel of Fortune. Seriously, play me sometime. I own.

11. Dick Cheney is one of my favorite politicians. Seriously. I dislike his politics but I love his attitude. Every time he tells a bureaucrat to go fuck himself I think “yeah…go fuck yourself.”

12. I can’t stand asking for help. Or perhaps a better way to put it is, I have a really hard time asking for help. I can’t decide.

13. When I was working for Republicans in 2006 I met Karl Rove. When he enters a room you can literally feel the evil in the air. It’s very palpable. By the way, Karl Rove loves me. Though he didn’t know I was a democrat.

14. I speak fluent sarcasm; to the point that English is probably my second language. If you’ve ever been offended by something I said don’t worry, I probably didn’t mean it.

15. My favorite show is “How I Met Your Mother.” If you dislike it and/or think its overrated then I hate you and find you to be stupid.

16. During my senior year of high school my government teacher said, and I quote:

“You have the political beliefs of a fat balding old white man from the south. And while I’m not sure you want to make this a white world you certainly don’t want it to be a brown one.”

And yes she was being serious.

17. When I was in the 7th grade one of my teachers taught us how to spell and pronounce the longest word in the English language.


The next year she died of lung cancer.

18. During those stupid ice breaking activities where you have to tell everyone something special about yourself I like to tell people that I can tell the difference between “Butter” and “I can’t believe it’s not butter”…even though I can’t (psh no one can!)

You’d be surprised how many girls that impresses.

19. Brand New is a very underrated band.

20. I lived in a log cabin in Alaska for three months. It was pretty sweet.

21. I don’t believe in playing the race card…except if you ask me about why I dislike camping, hiking or any other outdoors activity. Dude, for reals? I’m black. Do the math.

22. Between college and my work on campaigns, I’ve lived out of two suitcases for the last 5 years.

23. I wouldn’t say that I genuinely dislike most people, but well…

24. I don’t really like talking about myself or playing 20 questions with my personal life. Part of that is because I hate small talk and part of that is because i resent the fact that people think that asking me a few random questions will help them get to know me. That being said, there are probably 25 more interesting facts about me, but i’d rather you find them out for yourself.

25. This is a story my mom told me once. When I was five me and my mom were getting on the bus when an old lady with lots of makeup came up to us and said “My, that’s a cute little boy you have there.” to which I replied “Mommy, mommy! Look, its a CLOWN !!”

True story.

Yeah, I was THAT kid.


5 thoughts on “25 Random Awesome Phil Facts

  1. wow this is interesting..
    you are an interesting guy mind you
    25 is quite funny =]

    and what are your views on global warming if you dont mind me askin..

    • The environment’s never been a hot button issue for me personally. Not saying its not important, its just not a driving issue.

      That said, people who don’t believe in global warming are stupid, end of discussion.

      But cleaning the environment not only curbs carbon emissions, it helps carve the path for energy independence and increases in government revenue with programs like cap and trade.

  2. Pingback: The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes | Cognitive Dissonance

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