Remember That Time I Almost Got Kicked Out of a Focus Group

Moderator: Phillip, I’d like to hear what you thought of the energy drink.

Me: Honestly?

Mod: I want you to be completely honest about your thoughts.

Me: Your product tastes like sadness and ass.
By the way, ROCKT FUEL is a stupid fucking….wait, can I say fuck? Well anyways, ROCKT FUEL is a stupid fucking name for a product. What, you think you’re hardcore because you don’t use the letter ” E”? Maybe you should use that as a slogan. “So hardcore it doesn’t use the most common letter in the English language…TO THE EXTREME!!!!”

You know what the name ROCKT FUEL makes me think of? The douchebag everyone knows who types everything in all caps lock.

Is that really what you want me to think of when I see your product? Dirty vagina? Sadness and ass is bad but I’d have to imagine that douche flavored dirty vagina water tastes much worse. But that’s just me, I hate seafood.

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5 thoughts on “Remember That Time I Almost Got Kicked Out of a Focus Group

  1. Pingback: The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes | Cognitive Dissonance

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