You Have Two Cows…

I first saw this during my freshman year in High School. A few random thoughts later and here it is on my blog. Enjoy!


CAPITALISM : You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.Barbara Streisand sings to you. You feel righteous.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.

COMMUNISM — “PURE”: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.

COMMUNISM — SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn’t a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and kills you.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.

And for Megan…

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute

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One thought on “You Have Two Cows…

  1. Just need to leave my mark on one of the best politic analysis ever done. The one on PCness is hilarious. This was truly a work of art.

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