Would you like to suck on my Popesicle?

Cracked has a list of the top five Badass Popes

One of my favorite parts:

His greatest accomplishment–as a host if not as a pope–was the Banquet of Chestnuts held in 1501. This sounds nice enough until you learn that the chestnuts were merely a pretext to have a pack of naked hookers crawling around the ground collecting them. But that wasn’t the evening’s only nut-related activity. Trained observers were present to keep track of the total number and quality of the party-goers’ ejaculations. That’s exactly the kind of information you need when a bishopric comes open.

I totally could have been a pope in the good ol days.

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