The Throwdown in Logic!

(NOTE: This entry is a bit long but well worth reading.)

Today I got into a HUGE fight in my logic class about global warming…with my PROFESSOR. It was awesome! My professor came into class and started the lecture by asking us why today was a special day. Apparently there’s going to be a showing of the movie “The End of Suburbia”.

The professor starts a long spiel about global warming, the bush adminstration sucking, being a vegetarian etc,etc

Professor: Why have the fires been the worst that they’ve ever been? Why did Hurricane Katrina happen? GLOBAL WARMING. Thats why.

Me: except you haven’t proven Global Warming exists

Professor: *sigh*

Now keep in mind, I actually believe in Global Warming. I just hate when professors spout their propaganda bullshit in class. You can state your opinion but leave your unwarranted assertions at home

Professor: Are you denying the existence of Hurricane Katrina and the fires in California??????

Me: No, I’m just saying that there’s no internal link between the wild fires and the assertion that Global Warming exists.

Professor: Fine! Phillip, can you tell me why Global Warming doesn’t exist?!?

Me: Unfortunately for you, since you’re the one trying to prove Global Warming exists, the burden of proof is on you.

Prof: Why are there fires in California then?

Me: Why is it hot in Africa?? Just because I don’t have an explaination doesn’t mean that your assertion is true.

Professor: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT AFRICA!!!!! I also don’t want to hear about kumquats!!

Me: I don’t know why kumquats are nasty either…

Professor: EVERY SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD SAYS THAT GLOBAL WARMING EXISTS!!!! EVERY SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD!

At this point I get a little bit bolder because he’s literally yelling at me. So I decided to be a bit of an ass

Me: Yes and thats an appeal to authority…a logical fallacy. This being a logic class and you being a logic professor, I’m kind of embarassed for you.

Professor: NO. It’s not a logical fallacy. THEY’RE EXPERTS IN THE FIELD. So if I say the surgeon general says that Global Warming is real thats a logical fallacy? Why is he the Surgeon General if he’s not an expert?!

Me: Was the head of FEMA during Hurricane Katrina an expert? No. By your logic we should trust President Bush’ ability to manage the budget well because he has an MBA from Harvard.

Professor: HE’S THE SURGEON GENERAL!!! ARE YOU SAYING THE SURGEON GENERAL IS WRONG ABOUT NOT SMOKING TOO?!?!?

Me: No. My argument isn’t that the surgeon general is wrong. I’m just saying that its an appeal to authority to say that X is true because Y expert says so. You still need to provide the experts justification for their argument.

Professor: CLASS, what was the justification I provided that PHILLIP missed??

…the class is quiet

Professor: *points to one person in class* What justifications did I provide for the existence of Global Warming?

The Guy: umm wildfires?

Professor: BECAUSE???

The Guy: ummm droughts and dryiness?

Professor: EXACTLY

Me: Except my argument wasn’t that the wildfires aren’t happening or that Hurricane Katrina didn’t occur, my argument was that there’s a missing internal link between the harms you point out and the possibility of global warming. You said..
Professor: YOU’RE MISS REPRESENTING MY ARGUMENT!?!?!

Me: No, You said…

Professor: STOP INTERRUPTING ME

Me: umm…I still love you?

Professor: ARE YOU SAYING ALL OF THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY IS WRONG

Me: Didn’t all of the scientific community make claims of Global Cooling in the 70’s?

At this point he goes off on a long monologue asking rhetorical questions…

Me: So are you saying…

Professor: Do you want to hear what I’m trying to say?

Me: Yeah, I’m just asking for clarfication

Professor: If you want to hear what I have to say BE PATIENT. WAIT TILL I’M DONE!

After that he continues his monologue about overpopulation of humans and the growth of livestock being the cause of global warming and environmental degradation. The he sighs…gets our our logic book. And opens it up to start the lecture. THIRTY MINUTES into class.

…Best logic class EVER!

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4 thoughts on “The Throwdown in Logic!

  1. i remember exchanges like that with my profs, but they were mostly douchebags. at least your prof has something to say. hope you enjoy our film, let your prof know there is a new film out, part two in the END of SUBURBIA trilogy, ESCAPE From SUBURBIA. cheers

  2. Pingback: The Best of Cognitive Dissonance: It’s Like Memory Lane, Except With Alcohol and Assholes | Cognitive Dissonance

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