I had an usual talk with Steph last night. As many of you know I don’t talk about my personal life in detail very often. It’s not that I’m closed off to people, I just choose to invest my time and share my personal life with people who have a real interest in me. But thats a story for another blog entry.
Anywho, I was talking to Steph about about our relationships past and present and it got me thinking about my post relationship “friendship” with Nat. For the longest time I’ve wondered why I was so mad at her even though I broke up with her. Last night I think I figured it out.
I’m still mad at her for the way our relationship crumbled. Typically I’d agree that when a relationship fails its neither party’s fault. I more or less believe that with our relationship, though I always feel responsible when relationships end, but again a story for another blog entry. However, I do think there are certain things that significant others should not do to one another. For example, you shouldn’t spread false information about your boyfriend nor should you publicize private relationship issues with all of your friends. Particularly when your significant other explicitly stated a desire for privacy when you first started dating. Relationships are like teams, and you can’t expect to win when you sabotage your own teammate.
But nobody’s perfect, people make mistakes. Sometimes they even make mistakes over and over again. The important thing is that people apologize for the things they do and try to address the problem. But you know what, you have to show remorse before you recieve forgiveness. More importantly, you need to show that you care.
When you violate the trust of your significant other you violate not only the relationship but also the friendship the relationship is based on. I don’t see why I should be friends with someone who didn’t seem to care much for our friendship when it should have been most important to them. In an ideal world two people would be able to sit down and talk through their problems. However, the ideal world doesn’t usually occur in relationships.