Ten Things I Know That You Should Too

Things on my mind

1. Die hard is the best Christmas movie ever, followed closely by die hard 2

2. People should be able to smoke where ever they want if they look cool. If it’s good for Don Draper it’s good for me.

3. In order to even try to understand me as a person there are certain tv shows and movies you must first watch.

4. Getting an iPhone its a life changing event. Seriously, they’re that freaking sweet.

5. Croissants are entirely underrated as a breakfast food. Goddamnit I want more croissants.

6. Convenience stores that don’t sell alcohol aren’t convenient nor stores.

7. Only athletes should be eligible to win athlete of the year. I’m looking at you Jimmie Johnson and Associated Press.

8. Ninjas are better than pirates. A ninja would beat a Spartan if the two fought and jack bauer can kick chuck norris’ ass. No debate necessary.

9. If you don’t own a mac, then I’m just a little bit better person than you.

10. I only have 9 things on my mind. At least that I’m willing to share with you. The rest is for premium subscribers.

Animation Meets the Classics

You know, I’m actually surprised that more animated versions of classic novels haven’t come out. With the constantly improving animated technology, epics like The Song of Roland, The Illad, and Paradise lost are an untapped wealth of stories waiting to be told. Anyways, I’m really looking forward to this. And judging by the trailer this movie might be even better than I imagined.

Dante’s Inferno: The Animated Epic

My 2010 Christmas Wish: Better Than A Fruitcake, Not As Good As World Domination

It’s already December 30th and in holiday time, Christmas is long gone. But let’s be honest, nobody ever gets what they want. But its never to late for a belated expression of yule tide spirit. So with that in mind , Republicans in Congress. Please, please run on this idea in 2010.
Thanks

My best regards

Phil

Health Care Reform: A Very Good Post About A Very Sad Story

From today’s New York Times editorial defending the need for Health Care reform:

“The American Cancer Society now says the greatest obstacle to reducing cancer deaths is lack of health insurance. It is so persuaded of that fact that two years ago, instead of promoting its anti-smoking campaign or publicizing the need for cancer screening, it devoted its entire advertising budget to the problem of inadequate health insurance coverage.”

Its kind of sad that at this point, weeks before the passage of a final bill, the NYT still needs to write an editorial making the case for health care reform.  And yes that read health care reform, not universal health care. Clearly the White House has dropped the ball on this oh so important health care bill. From the public option to the insurance mandate to the entire structure of the bill President Obama’s poor leadership has left much to be desired.

It’s times like this that I like to  remind people why Hillary Clinton was a much better choice for president…

Asshole: Live blogging in Real Time

I’m in a bad mood so i’ve decided to liveblog me being an asshole. Yeah, fucking revolutionary huh?

6:31 pm. Changed my facebook status to “Phillip Allen just de-friended Don Bailey on facebook. Only REAL, rappers are allowed to on my wall son

6:41 pm: Vernon Davis has his own diet? Maybe he should come up with his own learn how to catch the fucking football book next?

6:47 pm: Probably the gayest thing I’ve heard all day. SCary’s facebook status: “just has to brag a little bit more. Guess who got a first edition of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” by Julia Child for Christmas? THIS GUY!!”

6:50pm- An Aim Conversation

Mr. Awesome: so when you get pregnant are you going to stop wearing shoes?
Hannah0913: i barely wear shoes as it is. Only when in public
Mr. Awesome: damn right
Hannah0913:shoes are for people who go do things. i stay at home
Mr. Awesome:…that was dare I say facebookable
Hannah0913: whatever
Mr. Awesome: that was a compliment!
Hannah0913: must be a slow week for yo u
Mr. Awesome: you just dont like talking to me unless im putting you down and insulting your boobs
typical woman
Mr. Awesome: IM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT THAT YOU CAN USE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
Hannah0913: Now  have to go home and ask my husband if my boobs are saggy to help build my self esteem

7:15 pm: Phillip has added “being an asshole on facebook to his interests”

7:55pm: Facebook status- “LS realizes his limitations”- My reply “PA realized your limitations ALONG time ago…”

Funny AIM Conversations: Fire Ants And Unprotected Sex.

Bet none of you have ever told a girl that certain types of insects are hotter than she is and got away with it. Coming from most people thats an insult. Coming from me that’s just charm.

IheartJellowjackets: WHAT? You don’t like stepping on bugs and yet you stepped on an entire ant hill to flirt with me?Wtf?
Mr Awesome: No I stepped on the hill because you didn’t want me to.
IheartJellowjackets: So how does that make you feel? That you sacrificed the lives of ants to get a girl to like you?
Mr Awesome: How does it make you feel that it worked?
IheartJellowjackets: Very sad. Oh the lives that were lost. All bc i encouraged it! But also pretty hot at the same time. lol
Mr Awesome: Don’t worry, well make it up to them
IheartJellowjackets: Oh damn. I might’ve just gasped. Good thing i’m alone in my bed so no one heard me. I think it’ll make the ants feel better. From their hill in the after life.
Mr Awesome: And to be fair…I think we have to let them watch
IheartJellowjackets: Hmmmm… I guess it would only be fair. I can make that sacrifice in self esteem for the ants. After all, they are ants. They cant be hotter than i am, right?
Mr Awesome: Well they were fire ants…
IheartJellowjackets: Oh, really? Fire ants are hotter than i am?
Mr Awesome: Are fire ants hotter than you? Hmmm they bite more. And they like to crawl all over me. They might have the edge right now.
IheartJellowjackets: Oh, but you dont know how much i bite. Nor have i had the chance to be all over you. So i’m telling you, they do not have the edge.
Mr Awesome: See you’re a talker. Ants are do-ers. They take the intiative. Plus their work ethic is unmatched
IheartJellowjackets: Sigh. How do you know i’m just a talker? You’re right about their work ethic though. But mine’s pretty good too.
Mr Awesome: Wait…did you just conceede ground in the “fire ants are hotter” than you discussion?

Punningpundit: My dad wants g’babies. My sister jessica stopped the conversation cold with “next time I have unprotected sex, I won’t use plan B”.

World_Dictator: is your sister Jessica seeing anybody?

Punningpundit: she says she’s down– assuming you’re willing to impregnate her.

World_Dictator: Well I am black so its not like I have a choice.

Yes…He Did Just Say That

Part of me wants to say that Mike Potemra, over at National Review Online misspoke:

I have over the past couple of months been watching DVDs of Star Trek: The Next Generation, a show I missed completely in its run of 1987 to 1994; and I confess myself amazed that so many conservatives are fond of it. Its messages are unabashedly liberal ones of the early post-Cold War era — peace, tolerance, due process, progress….

…but really, he probably didn’t.

But lets be  real. Anyone who’s been paying attention to politics for the past 15 years already knew all of this. What REALLY bothers me is that he’s watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. OVERRATED. Deep Space Nine was waaay better.

British Priest: “Thou SHALL Steal”

This was an interesting article to read early Christmas Eve morning:

The Rev. Tim Jones caused an uproar by telling his congregation that it is sometimes acceptable for desperate people to shoplift — as long as they do it at large national chain stores, rather than small, family businesses.

Jones’ Robin Hood-like sermon drew rebukes Tuesday from fellow clergy, shop owners and police.

From his pulpit at the Church of St. Lawrence in York, about 220 miles (355 kilometers) north of London, Jones said in his sermon Sunday that shoplifting can be justified if a person in real need is not greedy and does not take more than he or she really needs to get by.

…

The point I’m making is that when we shut down every socially acceptable avenue for people in need, then the only avenue left is the socially unacceptable one,” he said, adding that people are often released from prison without any means of support, leading them back into crime.

“What I’m against is the way society has become ever more comfortable with the people at the very bottom, and blinded to their needs,” he said.

Good for Rev. Jones.

Regardless of how you feel about the moral permissibility of shoplifting at least he’s doing something about it by getting the poverty conversation started.

Silence is consent, silence is consent.

The Most Awesome Book Tour In The Universe

The most awesome book tour in the universe* by the writer of the (second) most awesome page in the universe. Maddox hasn’t written a lot of in the past few years, instead choosing to focus on his lucrative book contract that…you know pays him millions of dollars and such, but his picture oriented recollection of his book tour is pretty fucking ninja. Check it out or he’ll bang your girlfriend.

The Best Book Tour In The Universe

I’m Going To Watch This Movie Just To See A 12 Year Old Say…

Cunt.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been waiting for the film adaptation of Mark Millar’s Kick Ass for a longtime. After all, Mark Millar + gratuitous violence…What’s not to like? But after seeing this Red Band trailer of Kick Ass that highlightsa few scenes with Hit Girl, one of the supporting characters in the comic, I’m going solely and purely so I can watch a 12 year old girl say the word cunt.

Hollywood, just when I’ve given up hope you always renew my faith. God bless you and God bless America. I love this country.